Thursday, August 12, 2010

Thoughtful Thursday..Ponderings from the Accidental Pastor's Wife

         His Worst Enemy..Me?

Returning from a trip is always hard. Exhaustion and a long to-do list often over take us. Sound reason gives way to irrational emotions. In the midst of the chaos, I stepped out to the green bench near my chicken coop to pray.

I recall doing this very thing several times during our stay in Arkansas..sitting on the bench outside our cabin just to pray. Sometimes I would find a moment to connect with my husband (who was many miles away and usually eating lunch at work).
One afternoon it came to me..a thought so frightening it literally made me sick. This thought returned to me this morning as I sat on my bench praying. I have the potential to be my husband's worst enemy. Shocking, don't you think. Brace not only applies to the wife of a pastor, but to us all.
As I sit quietly, "Lord, what do You mean?" He answers me with bold and bracing reality. There are many ways. Here I share some of my list with you:

1. When my actions are ruled by emotions, not wisdom
2. When my home is not in order; I am not were I should be doing what I should do
3. When idols take hold of my heart; if I am idle, not active to serve
4. When my words are critical or harsh instead of loving and edifying
5. When bitterness takes root or pride swells where humility should reside
6. When disputes reach my ears and I engage where I should have stopped it
7. When gossip poisons my mind instead of pure thoughts
8. When God is not first; when my husband is not second to God in my heart
9. When I allow my weakness to hinder me; when I am impaired by my shortcomings
10. When others influence me more than he does
When my attitude is out of order!

Only a few listed, some to personal to share..some yet undiscovered. If I am his worst enemy..I am also being the enemy of God and His people. Taking my grief and fear first to my Heavenly Father, then to my earthly husband..I will seek forgiveness for times when...the enemy I may have been..and may potentially be. They both love me..they know I am a mere human..a sinner..and often seeing something in myself they are not.
My husband, he often laughs..he thinks, "only she could think such a thing"..maybe. In my heart I must seek to beware..for I have heard the warning in my heart...a gentle whisper from my Lord. So this verse He gives me..this Word I will cling to:

"Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, Brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things re of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you."
Philippians 4: 6-9

If I keep watch carefully over my heart, my Lord will keep me from being his worst enemy.


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