Thursday, July 8, 2010
Thoughful Thursday...Ponderings from the Accidental Pastor's Wife
Over the years I have had my own exposure to pastor's wives and each one left their own mark on my heart. As for "accidental", well, I didn't become one on purpose (at least not my purposing).
In all the various ministry roles my husband and I have filled over the years, none of them ever gave me the impression that one day he would be a pastor and I the "pastor's wife". Believe me, it was quite a shock! Yet, our path gave us input and shape we would not have had otherwise. The people and situations that brought us here were all vital in their own unique ways.
Upon realizing my new station in this life, I must admit to some huge issues of inadequacy. In my attempt to place myself in the "pastor's wife" mold I had seen around me...I knew I just didn't fit. This realization scared me half to death! Prayer, scripture, friends...where do you find the handbook for who and what the "pastor's wife" is? Join me, won't you, each Thursday, as I share the thoughts and funny incidents that happen along my own path to being the pastor's wife.
Today, Miss Kitty and I had some interesting insights (the Lord can use anybody, can't He?). As I consider my own place, role and identity, please consider your own pastor's wife. Seek to understand and love her for who she is to her family and to you.
First...she is a sinner, a product of fallen man. When my husband become a pastor, I did not lose my fallen, sinful nature; I am not magical- a super-saint- no way. Prone to wickedness- let me tell you. I still struggle with weakness, sin, idols, pits- just like you, just like your pastor's wife. Now, she should be saved by grace; a believer in Lord Jesus- striving to live and walk in His word. We are believers on the same path you are.
Second...she is your pastor's wife. Important role here...my primary job is to fulfill the needs of a wife so that your pastor may serve the people. Tending his home, washing his laundry, cooking his meals..honoring his convictions; some of my daily duties. I love my husband and seek to lift him up (not tear him down), to meet his emotional needs (he needs encouragement and love just like you), to assist his ministry as he needs (praying for him is top priority), and filter through the un-necessaries so that he can do the necessaries (whatever pops up that is in my ability to handle). I must be available to him and have a right relationship with him for these needs to be met.
Third..she is the mother of your pastor's children. Her job is to nurture, train and meet the needs of their children. Another important role here..she is still a mother with the same responsibility to teach her children as we all have. My children may be teens, but they need my time at any age. Teaching them is a help to my husband, my church, and the world around me. Until they leave home, they are a priority in my life.
It is a calling, I believe, to be the wife of a pastor; the Word says to be equally yolked one to another. When my husband shared his call to ministry with me- I was petrified- but immediately began to pray (like never before) and seek for my heart to be equally yolked to his. God has given me a passion for my husband's pastorate, a love for the body of believers he serves, and a desire to harvest alongside this wonderful man. In this, my identity is slowly becoming clear. I am the "pastor's wife".
Consider today- will you pray for your pastor's wife and the important role she carries in the life of her home; the home of your pastor? I promise you, she will appreciate it.
the accidental pastor's wife :)