Today in the garden I set out to pull weeds but instead.. fell to my knees and cried. I haven't allowed myself to cry like that in a very long time. As weeds were yanked from their stronghold hot tears fell and sobs escaped my heart. Months of anger, hurt and worry poured out on well worked soil.
Today in the garden I yelled at God and wrestled with myself. All those things beyond my control were poured out in utter frustration and desperate grief. Things I cannot change, cannot control, cannot fix flowed from my soul as my hands attacked the soil working and turning.
Today in the garden nothing really changed. I sit here tonight no more settled than before. My heart breaks for a child whose choices led her to a place she never wanted to go yet cannot help to travel through. I ache for the changes coming I am unable to stop and the uncertain direction my own life will have to take.
Today in the garden realization came..how far I am from where I should be..how selfish and angry I have been...how distant. Working through the rows, my soul cries out for help..my heart aches for comfort. Tonight..my prayers are for guidance, wisdom and direction. I need a revelation..a flaming arrow..peace.
Today, in the garden..weeds were recognized, identified, and pulled..in my garden and my heart.