Sunday, October 13, 2013

So I Wonder

     It was one of those weekends. The kind that find you without a phone, broke down in a parking lot, wondering why on earth you do the things you do. No, I am not kidding. In a county I am not familiar with, with a GPS that couldn't figure it out, on the day after losing my phone my SUV decided to overheat and not get over it. That brought a hopelessness that I haven't felt in a while.
     Sitting in there in a parking lot defeat slapped me hard. What was I doing- and why? Well, I was looking for a garden center who had seeds needed for our classrooms- and I do it because of the kids. That reality caused me to pull up my big girl panties and get on with it. Water was put in the tank, another look was given to the directions, and the GPS finally woke up. I made it. I bought them. I got on with the day (not that my vehicle really recovered, but I made it).
      That unfortunate misadventure caused me to lay awake wondering why I do a lot of things I do. Why do I quilt- no quilts have been sold in a long time. Why do I garden- the critters are sure enjoying my hard work. Why do I blog- I'm not sure anyone reads it. Why do I - oh, fill in the blank. A deep breathe and a sleepless night really didn't solve anything.
      The next day found me thumbing a ride to the extension office where I spent my day loading plants into vehicles at our plant sale. During the course of things I became aware of a young person assisting us who seemed rather lost, and somewhat picked on by the others. Taking the youth under my wing- even addressing the unkind actions of a few others- I realized something; I do it for the one.
       Two days of wondering and the answer was right in front of me. I quilt for the one body warmed by a hand made gift. I garden for the joy of picking even one fresh meal I grew myself. I blog for the one soul who saw something I didn't. I work for the one smile on a child's face- one hug when I walk away- one thank you note from a teacher who wanted to throw in the towel.
       In the end, it doesn't matter how far my hands ever reach. Applause and accolades have never been my thing. Money matters little to me and I could care less what the world has to say about my little corner of the planet. What matters is the unexpected 'one'- that one thing revealed when I am ready to give up.
       So I wonder, why do you do what you do?

       Is anybody out there reading?


a8383 said...

Oh yes and thank you. I am sorry if I don't comment often but I very much enjoy your posts. Angela

Grandpa H said...

I read your blog first thing every morning. You are a good writer with a lot of interesting things to say.