|last season's seedlings|
I stood in the sunshine defeated- unable to find where to start. Nettles and I are at war; baby chicks struggle to acclimate to this up and down weather; seeds need set; transplants need replaced; mulch, much and burn. All I could do was sigh, leaving the to-do's for another unexpected appointment.
Evening news brought my tedious fretting to a halt. A loved one, a partner in crime, a soul I grew up with faces a true battle. It hit me- that feeling I have felt twice before- the devastating, life-changing, stop-your-heart feeling that consumes every function of your body when the word 'cancer' escapes the lips. Everything, I mean everything, changes. It's devastating.
No longer does my list seem so important. These things are just normal, everyday life bumps in the road. Cancer changes perspective in a way only cancer can. Weeds in a garden matter little; chickens never cross the mind; a job is a place you wish you could go- this normal I am fussing over is something longed for and greatly missed. Prayers become indiscernible utterances only God can comprehend.
By the end of day, it hit me: let it go. The weeds, the worries, jobs and all their drama; the crazy irritations that flip a day- All you can do is let them go. Just like the nettles, life will sting a bit, and when it does we have to let go and take a new look before be grab it again.
Prayers uplifted; perspective shifted; tomorrow it will all look differently.