Friday, March 14, 2014

All In a Day

last season's seedlings
    It's amazing, the things that plague our minds. Today found me bouncing from one emotion to another as my to-do list came face to face with the near end of my week of escape. Winter has been a challenge to us- so many things turned upside down. Spring is nearly hear and I am in no way ready for it.
    I stood in the sunshine defeated- unable to find where to start. Nettles and I are at war; baby chicks struggle to acclimate to this up and down weather; seeds need set; transplants need replaced; mulch, much and burn. All I could do was sigh, leaving the to-do's for another unexpected appointment.
    Evening news brought my tedious fretting to a halt. A loved one, a partner in crime, a soul I grew up with faces a true battle. It hit me- that feeling I have felt twice before- the devastating, life-changing, stop-your-heart feeling that consumes every function of your body when the word 'cancer' escapes the lips. Everything, I mean everything, changes. It's devastating.
    No longer does my list seem so important. These things are just normal, everyday life bumps in the road. Cancer changes perspective in a way only cancer can. Weeds in a garden matter little; chickens never cross the mind; a job is a place you wish you could go- this normal I am fussing over is something longed for and greatly missed. Prayers become indiscernible utterances only God can comprehend.
    By the end of day, it hit me: let it go. The weeds, the worries, jobs and all their drama; the crazy irritations that flip a day- All you can do is let them go. Just like the nettles, life will sting a bit, and when it does we have to let go and take a new look before be grab it again.
    Prayers uplifted; perspective shifted; tomorrow it will all look differently.  


Lynn said...

Thank you for that. I needed to hear exactly those words. Letting go is such a fine line for me. Do I do more or wait and listen? Is this a failure which requires me to try harder or to try an entirely new approach? My love for my Lord is sincere but sometimes I think I try too hard. Your approach always seems right to me.

Simply Scaife Family said...

Thank you, Lynn. It seems my husband and I are always asking each other- is this where I step in or step away, often kicking ourselves and thinking we made the wrong choice...trying too hard, I completely understand. Thank you for sharing your heart felt comments.. praying for you.