Sunday, March 2, 2014

How Do You....

    Several years ago, at the beginning of my journey as a mother of adolescent teens, a woman told me they will break your heart. Shocked and dismayed I refused to accept it- after all, I had worked so hard to build healthy relationships with my children, my family. We bonded through thick and thin; we had shared our soul and trained them up. No. This would not be my family's fate. I wouldn't let it. So I attempted to push those words away from me; hide them beneath my own words of encouragement. I deluded myself with the fantasy- if I pray enough it will always be okay.
     These days I strive not to wear the reality to plainly on my face, however, some who know me find it there. One afternoon a friend and fellow mother of teenagers stopped by my office and asked- how do you get up every morning? A deep breath and heavy sigh preceded my hesitant answer- by the grace of God. The reality is, sometimes it is nearly impossible.
     Hiding the truth is exhausting; facing it is no less wearing. Teen years are difficult and they don't end just because they hit 20. I have had to face the truth, because I had been lying to myself- despite my efforts I was ill prepared to face my children growing up, moving on, and making mistakes. My self deception has been difficult to face.
     In reality, it is time to let it go and realize He is where I cannot be, working where I cannot see, reaching avenues of our hearts I will never know. Letting go does not mean there is no care, concern or love..it means I let it go from my hands to His. It means peace in my heart and the ability to move forward. I've been stuck in the pit of worry and denial long enough.

     Tomorrow is a new day and I will face it one moment at a time. I will move on and embrace this new season. I will blog even if no one reads it. I will quilt, and create.. I will teach and learn despite the opposition. I will lay my head down in prayer and wake up with it every morning. That is how.

11 comments:

a8383 said...

Bless your heart. I am on my third teen- and the hurting doesn't always stop when they leave the teen years. I am like you- I was/am so involved and love my kids so much that I thought that was the complete recipe for our relationships. It is not- it just doesn't always turn out the way you thought and such is so much of life. Angela

Dolly Sarrio said...

May God be with you and give you strength to deal with whatever comes your way. We mothers never are out of the worry zone that comes from being a mother. It doesn't change ever the concern and fear. We do have to give it to God knowing that we have done the best we can to bring them up the right way. I'll be thinking of you and the family and praying.

Dicky Bird said...

I'm a protective mother. One wise person told me that "we have to let our children/young adults make mistakes." As much as I want to protect them, take the "punch" so to speak - I wouldn't be doing them any favors by doing so. I had to learn through difficult situations to totally surrender myself, my will to Him. I want to shelter my children from that, those hardships - but that is not God's will. I wouldn't be the woman I am today without making those mistakes and learning to trust Him. I know living through these situations are hard - will be hard - all I know is that we as mothers just need to turn it over to Jesus and pray, pray and pray. Blessings from Ringle, WI.

Grandpa H said...

Fyi. I read your post first thing every morning. I hope you are saving all of them.

Aunt Sue said...

It's hard to understand how the child who knew the Scriptures so well as a child, and argued for them in High School, and who you were sure would serve God in some way as you dedicated him for, can be far away from God all his adult life. I still keep believing and praying, and maybe he will soon come back so God, like your Dad did. I'll be praying for you, and for a much quicker response to what's right! (
I don't know the situation)

Scott S. said...

Well said Michelle! I have been going through this exact same season this past year. I will be praying for you!

Aunt Sue said...

I just saw yesterday's post! I will miss all your spring gardening posts. My garden is still under ice and snow, and I've just started my tomato seeds.

Simply Scaife Family said...

Each and every one of you sent words I needed to hear. I pray for you, grace and peace, as you have shared your heart and your experiences. Though things are no less difficult, there is peace in knowing many of us are together- on our knees- for the ones we love.

Sarah Adams said...

God is faithful! I pray that you will find strength and peace...and that your wayward child will come back to the father's house!

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blogs for about 6 months. they are some of my very favorites. however, leaving a comment has been beyond my computer skill set until recently. You truly have a "way" with words; gentle, simple, poetic and peaceful. I find myself looking to your blog when the world and its excesses have overwhelmed me. it is often here I can find my way back to the Christ Who loves me so. Thank you for your time and effort. it is appreciated.

Simply Scaife Family said...

I am so glad you joined me! Your sweet comments brought a ray of sunshine on this dark day. Thank you for sharing your heart with me.