How Do You....

    Several years ago, at the beginning of my journey as a mother of adolescent teens, a woman told me they will break your heart. Shocked and dismayed I refused to accept it- after all, I had worked so hard to build healthy relationships with my children, my family. We bonded through thick and thin; we had shared our soul and trained them up. No. This would not be my family's fate. I wouldn't let it. So I attempted to push those words away from me; hide them beneath my own words of encouragement. I deluded myself with the fantasy- if I pray enough it will always be okay.
     These days I strive not to wear the reality to plainly on my face, however, some who know me find it there. One afternoon a friend and fellow mother of teenagers stopped by my office and asked- how do you get up every morning? A deep breath and heavy sigh preceded my hesitant answer- by the grace of God. The reality is, sometimes it is nearly impossible.
     Hiding the truth is exhausting; facing it is no less wearing. Teen years are difficult and they don't end just because they hit 20. I have had to face the truth, because I had been lying to myself- despite my efforts I was ill prepared to face my children growing up, moving on, and making mistakes. My self deception has been difficult to face.
     In reality, it is time to let it go and realize He is where I cannot be, working where I cannot see, reaching avenues of our hearts I will never know. Letting go does not mean there is no care, concern or love..it means I let it go from my hands to His. It means peace in my heart and the ability to move forward. I've been stuck in the pit of worry and denial long enough.

     Tomorrow is a new day and I will face it one moment at a time. I will move on and embrace this new season. I will blog even if no one reads it. I will quilt, and create.. I will teach and learn despite the opposition. I will lay my head down in prayer and wake up with it every morning. That is how.