I am a real person- flawed and messy. My life is not all together. Over the course of my journey no part of my existence has been perfect- not my parenting, my marriage, my work, or my walk. Never do I want the illusion of perfection. That said, I see families struggling, falling, and hurting all around me.. seeking some sense they are okay. To you I say, we are all struggling- our struggles may be different, but still struggles. No part of family is easy; you have to find the moments.
Some of us hold beautiful memories of our family life: childhood experiences we keep near our hearts. It may be a mealtime around the table, working side by side in the garden, or just sitting on a bench waiting for the next thing. These are memories made in random moments that grounded us in the midst of chaos and busy schedules. While we have these memories, we also need to ensure our children have them.
Sometimes the moments are random: stuck in the car during traffic, cleaning stalls, or sitting down for a breath. As adults, we need to seize these random times and embrace them as precious; wait for the still of things to bring a relaxed time for open, non-confrontational communication. Here is where they tell us their troubles, share their hearts, and maybe even seek our counsel.
There are moments we need to plan for: sipping coffee before the day starts, an afterschool snack time, or a weekly family dinner. These moments are consistent times for our children to know we are there for them; they can share, question, and consider things that really need to be. Knowing these times are available to them will help them feel secure in talking to us.
Our children need this as much as we do, but our aging families do as well. Moments like these give value to our elders and remind them they are still important to us. These moments feed us just as much as it feeds them- for we are still forming bonds and memories, too.
This week I seek the memory of moments- times of bonding, caring and forgiveness. The season of my life is changing as I face aging family members, young adult children, and the time of grandparenting.
The moments may look different to each of us, but let's not neglect having them... one day they may be all we have.