The garden is a hideous mess-
poor plants are struggling to produce amid the weeds.
Our house is undergoing some, well, purge-
less kids at home, less things we need, way less time to clean it.
Goats are growing-
does are producing-
babies are weaning.. the barn is a mess.
I sit on the floor, rather defeated and wonder-
what am I doing?
adjusting to changes
struggling to simplify
drowning in the process.
I don't know about everyone else, but it seems I can't remember how it is that I use to get everything done? We have had all of these chores, closets, cabinets, and pantries for years- why can't I seem to get it together? Who knows. Maybe it's the lack of 'hands on deck' to assist with all the 'to-do's', or the fact I now live with two men (men use to having me home to do it). Maybe it is because I am working outside the home, but I always had other things to do. Maybe it's hormonal, empty nest syndrome, or getting 'older'- wait, nope.. I threatened to hit the next person who mentioned those things (note, punch self).
You see, I sat in the middle of a disorganized mess this weekend and just lost it. I love my garden, herd, flock.. my herbals.. home made/hand made life. Yet, I love the kids that cross my path.. the parents that bump into me at the store.. sharing their stories and experiences.. challenging my creative chaos. I just don't yet know they fit together.
Either way, this home is under renovation.. as is this blog.. this shop.. this terribly flawed life. I am under construction.. as is my routine, my schedule... my sanity (and my hormones). Yes, I will still homestead- still sew- still teach- still drive my family and coworkers insane. I'm just not sure how it is all going to fall together. Please bear with me as I dig up, clear out, hunker down and find my place.